Why am I back?

Hello, blogger. It's been a while. I'm sorry. I guess I've been busy living to care about breaking my promises. It's been a while since my last post. That never happened before. And why am I back? I guess I'm way too broken to handle up myself. I guess I wanted to come back. I guess I wanted to vomit my feelings with someone. I guess I missed you...
I've been busy lying to myself. Trying to make myself live. I'm back because today I want to complain about how my expectations (just like Tom's) hurt me . I've been trying to make myself feel again. It's not working. I just want to laugh in a bitter way. I feel hurt. But not really. I just pull myself back before getting hurt. It results funny to me I've been begging to feel something even pain, but that I can't actually. I can't. I have such a powerful self-protection. I don't let anyone get as close to do it. Just look at now, I just pulled back. I am sad. Damn, I am. And angry. I am meaning less angry. So angry. I guess that's why I'm here.