1/1

 I'm kinda drunk right now. I was meaning to do this earlier like yesterday when it was still 2020, but I guess I fucked up as usual. I'm alive, blogger. I made it to another year. I just wanted to write to you to let you know I'm alive. I left things kind of in the air last time. I did not kill myself as you can read. I actually made it alive. And now I'm a doctor that still thinks about death, her own death a lot. But I'm keeping it together. This holidays have been hard, I keep remembering about last year, and I don't know why thinking about me depressed last year kinda depressed me now. My grandpa is dying. He's the love of my life. I feel unhappy. But that's usual. I don't know what to do with my life. But that's also usual. I. I just don't know shit, alright? I just want to be drunk. 'cause I'm sad. My bones kind of hurt. I'm so disappointed.