30/5

 I do wish i could stay still. I'm alive, blogger. I just read my last entry and realized i haven't been around for a while to give certainty that i'm alive. I wish i had come on an earlier state than the one i'm in right now, because i was goooood. And now once again i'm not. Against my own desires of not having to take on responsabilities, i did. I've been working as a doctor for almost four months. And there's was a time i was happy. I was full of energy. I was too tired, too full of motivation and work to be depressed. Now i'm just too tired of work i can't help but to get depressed, because my brain just can't handle it. I'm so mentally exhausted that reality feels distorted. I keep thinking about death. But i found a friend that looks so much like me, it's a book character but who knows perhaps he, by facing his own very-alike-to-mine demons, may help me find a way to fight mine. But in the meantime i'm seriously considering quiting my job. But then more questions come in hand. And its January again and i still have no clue of what i want. All i know it's i'm tired and that i don't feel mentally strong to face this job.